It seems that I’ve been walking on dark clouds in the past few months as nothing has going in my favor and now Stressville is back as half year preparations is at its peak. To add salt to wound in some ways I feel betrayed by certain moves of some people. It always have to go that way, when the going gets tough, the odds pile up against me. Makes me think if I still want to be part of this infernal cycle.
Bail out options has again crossed my mind. The comfort of just turning my back and let others do all the problem solving is tempting as ever but of course, that would have its consequences. A hiatus maybe something I need but that would have me throwing everything I ever worked for. I just can say as of now that I’d give up anything just to be back in the finer side of life even just for a day.
I sure wish to be back to the finer side of life. I hope it follows the pattern before that the fine times come after Stressville. Of course, it’s a few more difficult weeks to go. Pathetic how I am so drained or demoralized after work that I have no energy to do other stuff considering that I should start training for another run. I’ll just look forward to the time that the ball will bounce in my favor. I now know that what goes around comes around so for the mean time I’ll try to be back to my nice guy personality in hopes that good things come back in bundle or if not at least I was able to lend a helping hand. That’s one thing that makes me happy.
I’m always caught with the thought that chasing happiness is one of the simplest purpose of life. At the end of the day, if we can’t be happy with what we are doing then everything won’t make sense. And on the chasing the one I like… I’m giving her a head start and hoping when the chase begins, she’ll be ready to get caught. Let me clear the dark cloud first.
Vent out over… You have to live life before you can write about it. I guess everything that happens, good or bad, is meant to give us a better understanding of life and the dark clouds are there for us to appreciate the sunshine.